I’ve come to the conclusion, in the last couple of months, that writing a book with 100% seriousness and dedication is one of the hardest professional challenges a person can face. At least it has been for me. Not even graduate school was this hard (or maybe I’m forgetting my #gradschoolproblems). Anyway, I think part of the reason why I’m blogging about my writing journey is so that when I finally do finish this manuscript—and the next ones to come—I can look back and see where I started and acknowledge the progress that I will have made.
Yesterday was supposed to be a writing/editing day, one fully dedicated to my current WIP. I work as a freelance editor, helping college and graduate students with their research papers, theses, and dissertations, so I know a thing or two about editing. But honest to God, yesterday it felt like my editing skills magically disappeared from my mind. I stared at my computer screen for about two to three hours trying to edit one specific scene that I had rewritten over 10 times since March. I became so frustrated with my lack of progress and with the words before me that I felt I had wasted three hours of my day.
By the time night came around, I was emotionally exhausted because my mind repeatedly reminded me of how terrible my writing was. The funny thing is that I know I’m not the only writer out there who has felt this way. I think that the perfectionist persona in us is always trying to make our writing better, and oftentimes we fall into a recurring wave of negative thoughts that are detrimental to our emotional and mental health.
The reason why I’m sharing this is because when I’m having a good day, I don’t believe I’m a horrible writer. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be putting my best effort and taking the time to write this novel. I wouldn’t be blogging about it either. I truthfully love this story and the characters, and I don’t want to do them a disservice by not writing the best narrative that I know they deserve.
To end on a more positive note, I was able to edit 30 pages this morning! I left the scene that was giving me a hard time alone, and I’ll come back to it sometime later in the week. Anyway, if you can relate to this rant, just remember that you can do this! You were given your story(ies) for a reason, and nobody can write it the way that you can!
Keep writing, my friends!